United Phone Losers
I'll Fuck you in the Goat Ass: REVENGE
issue no. 10 - May 22, 1999
this issue written by el caco

  What's in This Here Installment of UPL

Hey. I am el caco and I am going to be instructing you in how to get revenge United Phone Loser Style. Let's say your asshole neighbor turns his stereo up super loud every night (I guess when it gets dark it's hard to hear). And what station is he listening to? Why smooth jazz 88.5 (or any damn station you hate). For your pain and suffering this scum deserves some of his own. We have here a few ways to make your neighbor's life a little harder. One more thing. This is the tenth issue of UPL and I think that is kind of special, even if you losers don't.

How to get Revenge United Phone Loser Style

There are many ways to get revenge UPL style. They involve call forwarding, racking up high bills on their line, harrassing the operator from the line, and shorting out their phone line. Of course all of these require access to either the person's phone, grey box outside their house, or the telco can which holds their lines. If you can't get in their house or on their property without getting caught and having a boot shoved up your ass then I recommend wandering around the person's neighborhood looking for telco cans (the things you beigebox on). After you have located the 3 nearest cans to this person's house then you can really get to work... checking those lines. See you have to find the pair of posts that belong to your victim. To do this you will have to hook your beigebox up to a set of posts and dial ANI. ANI stands for Automatic Number Identification and is used to find the phone number of the line you are calling from. I have one which I will give you (800)487-9240. Dial ANI on every post in those 3 cans until you find your victim's posts. Then you can do several things. You could make long calls to (900)BIG-TITS, your psychic friend, or your friends in foreign nations. Or you could forward all the calls to the line to say Pizza Hut.

This is quick and simple for you. And quite painful for the victim. Whether you short the line by running a wire between the 2 posts in a telco can or the small gray box by the person's house the effect is the same. When people call the line they get a busy signal. When someone in the house picks up the phone they get a dead phone. It might not last long because they will probably get in contact with the phone company as soon as possible. If you do this at the box on the person's property I recommend you not leave any fingerprints behind as the lineman will be quite suspicious at finding a wire between the posts and might call the cops, maybe. Better safe than suspected. Easy construction. Hook 2 alligator clips together with a piece of wire and then apply to the posts in a telco can or greybox. Voila shorted out line.

Call forwarding allows you to send all calls going to your house to say your neighbors house because there is a barbeque going down over there but you still want to get your calls. In GTE calling areas you dial 72# and you hear the dial tone get funky and then it goes back to normal and then you dial the number you want the calls to go to. In non GTE areas I recommend calling the friendly operators and asking how you go about forwarding your calls. Use this to forward the calls to the local pizza place or movie theater.

Harrassing the operators can be a reason they would shut your phone off. If you were to repeatedly call and curse at the operators the least that would happen is that the phone company would be quite angry with your victim.

If you don't know how to make a phone bill very high than you don't know very much. Try setting up a teleconference via AT&T. An 8 hour conference for 8 nodes adds up to around US$2500. Call your psychic friend for advice or call 900 numbers if that is what floats your boat. Have friends in (insert foreign country here)? Call them, I'm sure they'd like to hear from you. Have fun with it and don't get caught.


el caco, United Phone Losers and/or it's members WILL NOT be held responsible for what you do with the information within this text document. We cannot take responsibility for your ignorance, besides, we can barely take responsibility for our own.

el caco can be contacted via e-mail at el.caco@jewishmail.com
And by leaving messages on the message board at the UPL website