dMP dMP dMMMMb dMP .-------------------------------------------------.
dMP dMP dMP.dMP dMP | United Phone Losers Toneage |
dMP dMP dMMMMP" dMP `-------------------------------------------------'
dMP.aMP dMP dMP [ Toneage UPL26 | 10/07/01 | Lame for her pleasure]
VMMMP" dMP TONEAGE [ http://www.phonelosers.net ]
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| introduction |
`-------------------------------------------------------------------------'
Well, WTF is this? This is the Tone-age issue for UPL issue release 26?
Remember Phrack Linenoise? Well, for those you who don't, first of all,
shame on you for not reading Phrack. It is a section of Phrack that is
composed of articles that don't quite fit in the issue, be it content, size
or relevence to what the magazine is supposed to be about. The following
articles were submitted to UPL, we here at UPL finally realized that maybe
we should stop publishing artilces that have nothing to do with computers
and phones. But also, we here at UPL like to welcome everyone and try not
to ridicule anyone out, so we created this! A collection of articles that
aren't relevant enough, long enough, or l33t enough for a full-fledged UPL
issue, but still worth a look (or not). Tone-age, named after the events
that occur when a bunch of 13 year old code kiddies come onto a conf and
tone till everyone leaves. This is definetly some sort of rip off from
Phrack, but oh well.
I also wanted to mention that, The Boxer's article is definetly the
coolest article here, and that if it was submitted to UPL an issue or 2
ago it would have been in the regular issues, but we are actually trying
to make UPL a little more serious, the other fun will go in here. Kudos
go the Boxer for the excellent ascii skillz that even I phear.
-Phractal
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| |
| Shit you most likely won't remember |
| -------------CONTENTS------------ |
| |
| Intro: scroll up...............................................Phractal |
| Sign Jacking..................................................The Boxer |
| A paragraph about ANI II...........................................ic0n |
| ANI II c0des..................................................NANPA.com |
| A Boy Named Roy.....................................The Visual Assassin |
| Web Page Hell (infinite javascript for loop).....................Jackel |
| Get Your Ameritech Telephone Service Turned Back On for $1!.....NethawK |
| Free Groceries and Scamming Gumball Machines...............The 3rd Worm |
| Disclaimer........................................................Staff |
| |
`-------------------------------------------------------------------------'
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Sign Jacking |
| Written By The Boxer Email: ministryofphreaking@yahoo.com |
`-------------------------------------------------------------------------'
Hey kids, not only did I decide to get up off my lazy ass and
actually write an article for UPL, I'm actually writing about something
that I know what the hell I'm taking about: sign-jacking. No, I don't mean
masturbating onto a sign (not that there's anything deviant about that). I
mean getting loaded with your friends, grabbing a bunch of random tools,
piling into a car, and looting every sign you can find that isn't welded
down. Signs generally fall into three seperate classes:
/\
/ \
/ \
1. Traffic Signs / 65 \
\ /
\ /
\ /
\/
_________________
2. Business signs | SOME |
| BUSINESS |
-----------------
3. Lawn signs __________
| |
| 4 Sale |
| |
----------
|
|
|
Traffic Signs
-------------
These are by far the most popular among sign jackers. They
also require the right tools and a little teamwork if you want to get the
job done right. Nearly all traffic signs are attached to poles with hex
screws. The type of pole that the sign is attached to will make significant
difference in the difficulty you'll have jacking the sign. Wood posts are
the easiest since the screw is just just driven through the hole in the sign
and into the pole.
(sideview)
_ I
| |I <---sign
| |I
post---> | |I=] <---hex head
| |I
| |I
| |I
| |
| |
These are a no-brainer. You just take your wrench and twist the screw out
and run like hell. Need I say more?
Metal posts are a little tricky, but with an extra set of hands it's a
breeze.
(sideview)
I
sign----> I
|I
bolt with screw though it------> ==[|I=]<---- Hex head
|I
|I
|I
post---> |
|
|
These can suck if you're by yourself, because you twist the hex head but the
bolt turns with it, you make no progress, and your pretty much just stuck
playing with yourself.
Some cities are starting to phase in "tamper proof" signs which have screws
with no real place to grip on and twist them out.
(sideview)
I
sign---> I
|I
cone shaped bolt with screw through it---> --<|I| <--- thin washer-type
|I head or rounded
|I surface
|
|
|
|
In this case you can either try to rip the sign off the pole, break the
pole, or just say "screw it" and go find some signs that haven't been
updated yet.
Business Signs
--------------
These are usually a breeze to acquire but the trick is
finding the right one. Most business signs suck and aren't worth the effort
but every once in a while you find "The One" and then it's go time. Most
popular are the banner type signs restaurants hang outside their buildings.
You know like, "Play Monopoly at McDonalds" or some such thing. These are
usually tied to something on several corners with thin nylon rope. Just
bring your pocket knife and you'll be out and in just like that. Be careful!
Everybody I've known who's been busted was caught while stealing these type
of signs. Keep the car at a safe distance so an employee doesn't get your
license plate number.
Good Idea
---------
_____________
| | | |
| McDonalds | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|___________| | |
| |Bushes
_____________ | |Bushes Car
| | | |Bushes
| | | |Bushes |--|
| Lame Ass | Parking Lot | |Bushes |__|
|Play Palace| | Road |Bushes | |
|___________| / | |Bushes |--|
/ | |Bushes |--|
Sign---> / | |Bushes
/ | |Bushes
/ | |Bushes
/ | |Bushes
| |Bushes
Bad Idea
--------
_____________
| | | |
| McDonalds | | |
| | | |
| | | |
|___________| Car | |
| |Bushes
_____________ |--| | |Bushes
| | |__| | |Bushes
| | | | | |Bushes
| Lame Ass | Parking |--| | |Bushes
|Play Palace| Lot |--| | Road |Bushes
|___________| / | |Bushes
/ | |Bushes
Sign---> / | |Bushes
/ | |Bushes
/ | |Bushes
/ | |Bushes
| |Bushes
Other good bets are to check the bathrooms ("wash your hands", "no smoking
etc.") and phone areas ("Phone-->" and those little plastic cards on the
payphones identifying the telco).
Lawn Signs Ok, so you've hit rock bottom and you're now a sign
junkie. You'd willingly sell your grandmother's soul for a fix. If you find
yourself eyeing lawn signs advertising realtors or garage sales, please get
help. Seriously, unless the sign is even mildly amusing, i.e. "Ben Dover's
Lawn Service" or something, just look the other way. Trust me.
Well in conclusion, sign jacking is a great way to pass the time if
you live in a POS town where nothing good ever happens. Just don't let it
take over your life. Let phreaking take over your life instead.
- The Boxer
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| A Paragraph about ANI II |
| Written By ic0n Email: ic0n@skytelphreaks.com |
`-------------------------------------------------------------------------'
Alright before I begin I would like to let everyone know an ANI2
number if you already don't have one: 1-800-555-1160
Ani 2 transmits a 2 digit number pair before your number that
indentifies the type of phone line your calling from. For example if you made
the call from home your ani 2 pair would be "00".
If you made the call from a payfone it would be on of these three
"27","70","07" depending on the type of payfone. (Acts, Cocot, Bell)
Here Is A list of the rest of the two digit codes: (see next article):
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| ANI II c0des: |
| Copied and Pasted from NANPA.com |
`-------------------------------------------------------------------------'
00 Plain Old Telephone Service (POTS) - non-coin service requiring no
special treatment
01 Multiparty line (more than 2) - ANI cannot be provided on 4 or 8 party
lines. The presence of this "01" code will cause an Operator Number
Identification (ONI) function to be performed at the distant location. The
ONI feature routes the call to a CAMA operator or to an Operator Services
System (OSS) for determination of the calling number.
02 ANI Failure - the originating switching system indicates (by the "02"
code), to the receiving office that the calling station has not been
identified. If the receiving switching system routes the call to a CAMA or
Operator Services System, the calling number may be verbally obtained and
manually recorded. If manual operator identification is not available, the
receiving switching system (e.g., an interLATA carrier without operator
capabilities) may reject the call.
03-05 Unassigned
06 Station Level Rating - The "06" digit pair is used when the customer has
subscribed to a class of service in order to be provided with real time
billing information. For example, hotel/motels, served by PBXs, receive
detailed billing information, including the calling party’s room number.
When the originating switching system does not receive the detailed billing
information, e.g., room number, this "06" code allows the call to be routed
to an operator or operator services system to obtain complete billing
information. The rating and/or billing information is then provided to the
service subscriber. This code is used only when the directory number (DN)
is not accompanied by an automatic room/account identification.
07 Special Operator Handling Required - calls generated from stations that
require further operator or Operator Services System screening are
accompanied by the "07" code. The code is used to route the call to an
operator or Operator Services System for further screening and to determine
if the station has a denied-originating class of service or special
routing/billing procedures. If the call is unauthorized, the calling party
will be routed to a standard intercept message.
08-09 Unassigned
10 Not assignable - conflict with 10X test code
11 Unassigned
12-19 Not assignable - conflict with international outpulsing code
20 Automatic Identified Outward Dialing (AIOD) - without AIOD, the billing
number for a PBX is the same as the PBX Directory Number (DN). With the
AIOD feature, the originating line number within the PBX is provided for
charging purposes. If the AIOD number is available when ANI is transmitted,
code "00" is sent. If not, the PBX DN is sent with ANI code "20". In either
case, the AIOD number is included in the AMA record.
21-22 Unassigned
23 Coin or Non-Coin - on calls using database access, e.g., 800, ANI II 23
is used to indicate that the coin/non-coin status of the originating line
cannot be positively distinguished for ANI purposes by the SSP. The ANI II
pair 23 is substituted for the II pairs which would otherwise indicate that
the non-coin status is known, i.e., 00, or when there is ANI failure.
ANI II 23 may be substituted for a valid 2-digit ANI pair on 0-800 calls. In
all other cases, ANI II 23 should not be substituted for a valid 2-digit ANI
II pair which is forward to an SSP from an EAEO.
Some of the situations in which the ANI II 23 may be sent:
Calls from non-conforming end offices (CAMA or LAMA types) with combined
coin/non-coin trunk groups.
0-800 Calls
Type 1 Cellular Calls
Calls from PBX Trunks
Calls from Centrex Tie Lines
24 Code 24 identifies a toll free service call that has been translated to a
Plain Old Telephone Service (POTS) routable number via the toll free
database that originated for any non-pay station. If the received toll free
number is not converted to a POTS number, the database returns the received
ANI code along with the received toll free number. Thus, Code 24 indicates
that this is a toll free service call since that fact can no longer be
recognized simply by examining the called address.
25 Code 25 identifies a toll free service call that has been translated to a
Plain Old Telephone Service (POTS) routable number via the toll free
database that originated from any pay station, including inmate telephone
service. Specifically, ANI II digits 27, 29, and 70 will be replaced with
Code 25 under the above stated condition.
26 Unassigned
27 Code 27 identifies a line connected to a pay station which uses network
provided coin control signaling. II 27 is used to identify this type of pay
station line irrespective of whether the pay station is provided by a LEC or
a non-LEC. II 27 is transmitted from the originating end office on all calls
made from these lines.
28 Unassigned
29 Prison/Inmate Service - the ANI II digit pair 29 is used to designate
lines within a confinement/detention facility that are intended for
inmate/detainee use and require outward call screening and restriction
(e.g., 0+ collect only service). A confinement/detention facility may be
defined as including, but not limited to, Federal, State and/or Local
prisons, juvenile facilities, immigration and naturalization
confinement/detention facilities, etc., which are under the administration
of Federal, State, City, County, or other Governmental agencies.
Prison/Inmate Service lines will be identified by the customer requesting
such call screening and restriction. In those cases where private
paystations are located in confinement/detention facilities, and the same
call restrictions applicable to Prison/Inmate Service required, the ANI II
digit for Prison/Inmate Service will apply if the line is identified for
Prison/Inmate Service by the customer.
30-32 Intercept - where the capability is provide to route intercept calls
(either directly or after an announcement recycle) to an access tandem with
an associated Telco Operator Services System, the following ANI codes should
be used:
30 Intercept (blank) - for calls to unassigned directory number (DN)
31 Intercept (trouble) - for calls to directory numbers (DN) that have been
manually placed in trouble-busy state by Telco personnel
32 Intercept (regular) - for calls to recently changed or disconnected
numbers
33 Unassigned
34 Telco Operator Handled Call - after the Telco Operator Services System has
handled a call for an IC, it may change the standard ANI digits to "34",
before outpulsing the sequence to the IC, when the Telco performs all call
handling functions, e.g., billing. The code tells the IC that the BOC has
performed billing on the call and the IC only has to complete the call.
35-39 Unassigned
40-49 Unrestricted Use - locally determined by carrier
50-51 Unassigned
52 Outward Wide Area Telecommunications Service (OUTWATS) - this service
allows customers to make calls to a certain zone(s) or band(s) on a direct
dialed basis for a flat monthly charge or for a charge based on accumulated
usage. OUTWATS lines can dial station-to-station calls directly to points
within the selected band(s) or zone(s). The LEC performs a screening
function to determine the correct charging and routing for OUTWATS calls
based on the customer’s class of service and the service area of the call
party. When these calls are routed to the interexchange carrier via a
combined WATS-POTS trunk group, it is necessary to identify the WATS calls
with the ANI code "52".
53-59 Unassigned
60 TRS - ANI II digit pair 60 indicates that the associated call is a TRS
call delivered to a transport carrier from a TRS Provider and that the call
originated from an unrestricted line (i.e., a line for which there are no
billing restrictions). Accordingly, if no request for alternate billing is
made, the call will be billed to the calling line.
61 Cellular/Wireless PCS (Type 1) - The "61" digit pair is to be forwarded to
the interexchange carrier by the local exchange carrier for traffic
originating from a cellular/wireless PCS carrier over type 1 trunks. (Note:
ANI information accompanying digit pair "61" identifies only the originating
cellular/wireless PCS system, not the mobile directory placing the call.
62 Cellular/Wireless PCS (Type 2) - The "62" digit pair is to be forwarded to
the interexchange carrier by the cellular/wireless PCS carrier when routing
traffic over type 2 trunks through the local exchange carrier access tandem
for delivery to the interexchange carrier. (Note: ANI information
accompanying digit pair "62" identifies the mobile directory number placing
the call but does not necessarily identify the true call point of origin.)
63 Cellular/Wireless PCS (Roaming) - The "63" digit pair is to be forwarded
to the interexchange carrier by the cellular/wireless PCS subscriber
"roaming" in another cellular/wireless PCS network, over type 2 trunks
through the local exchange carrier access tandem for delivery to the
interexchange carrier. (Note: Use of "63" signifies that the "called number"
is used only for network routing and should not be disclosed to the
cellular/wireless PCS subscriber. Also, ANI information accompanying digit
pair "63" identifies the mobile directory number forwarding the call but
does not necessarily identify the true forwarded-call point of origin.)
64-65 Unassigned
66 TRS - ANI II digit pair 66 indicates that the associated call is a TRS
call delivered to a transport carrier from a TRS Provider, and that the
call originates from a hotel/motel. The transport carrier can use this
indication, along with other information (e.g., whether the call was
dialed 1+ or 0+) to determine the appropriate billing arrangement (i.e.,
bill to room or alternate bill).
67 TRS - ANI II digit pair 67 indicates that the associated call is a TRS
call delivered to a transport carrier from a TRS Provider and that the call
originated from a restricted line. Accordingly, sent paid calls should not
be allowed and additional screening, if available, should be performed to
determine the specific restrictions and type of alternate billing permitted.
68-69 Unassigned
70 Code 70 identifies a line connected to a pay station (including both coin
and coinless stations) which does not use network provided coin control
signaling. II 70 is used to identify this type pay station line irrespective
of whether the pay station is provided by a LEC or a non-LEC. II 70 is
transmitted from the originating end office on all calls made from these
lines.
71-79 Unassigned
80-89 Reserved for Future Expansion "to" 3-digit Code
90-92 Unassigned
93 Access for private virtual network types of service: the ANI code "93"
indicates, to the IC, that the originating call is a private virtual network
type of service call.
94 Unassigned
95 Unassigned - conflict with Test Codes 958 and 959 (Common ANACS)
96-99 Unassigned
-[note from editor: credit people for their work]
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| A Boy Named Roy |
| Written By The Visual Assassin Email: wanderlust2k1@hotmail.com |
`-------------------------------------------------------------------------'
It was a warm, dark night, and there was no moon. The street light
had been busted out by a rock earlier in the day, and it was almost pitch
black. Roy creeped his way down the alley, a backpack on his back and a
flashlight in his hand. Roy finally reached his destination, a green box
about two feet tall. Why was Roy so intrigued by the box? Rumor has it the
green box could be used to make free calls. But was the rumor true? Roy had
to find out.
Roy had grown up in a trailer house with no phone. So when he moved
into a double-wide, his parents also hooked up a phone line. They had
attached a sea-green colored phone up, and this was the phone Roy clutched in
his hand now. Earlier that afternoon, Roy had been at school, and got online
with AOL on the school's upgraded 286. Roy was trying to reach
wrestling.com, but he didn't know how to spell. He ended up at UPL. Roy,
though he couldn't spell, could read (about 17 words per minute). And read
he did. At eight o'clock that same night, Roy had read an entire issue of
UPL. Beige (Roy pronounced it "beegey") boxing looked like fun, and he
wanted to try it.
An hour later, Roy pulled his ten-speed to the front of the local
Wal-Mart, and bought a modular plug and some alligator clips with the food
stamps he had been saving up. He was ready. As you have probably guessed,
Roy wasn't very prepared. He didn't have anyone he wanted to call except
friends, and he didn't see the harm in calling friends, especially to brag
about his high-tech adventure.
Now there's something you, the reader, have to understand about Roy.
He had about as many brain cells as he did teeth. While it is still a
mystery how Roy managed to construct a beegey box, he did. He probably had
help from Killa2Killa, his cow-tipping partner.
Now Roy was at the box, ready to begin. He had his favorite phone
sex number, psychic number, and some friends' numbers in Zimbabwe. He pried
open the box with his pointed head and plugged in the beige box. He called
everyone, even pranked random long distance numbers using his first and last
name as an alias. Night after night, Roy used the same box to call everyone
he knew.
One night, Roy was at home watching Monday Night Raw and eating
Cheetos when he heard a knock at the door. Roy, thinking it was Domino's
pizza, answered the door, and saw a policeman standing there. Roy (I said he
wasn't that bright) thought the officer was the male stripper that he had
also ordered, Roy ran to his room to grab his gerbil (named Roy Jr.) so he
wouldn't feel left out. Roy and Roy, Jr. started humping the police
officer's legs, and that's when the handcuffs were snapped on.
In his cell, Roy cried every night. Roy, Jr. ate pellets. (The cops
let him go free) Roy wondered how he got caught, he was so careful! Roy
promised never to phreak again.
Moral: Never think a cop is a hired stripper.
-The Visual Assassin
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Web Page Hell(infinate javascript loop) |
|Written By Jackel of Losers Inc. Email: jackel@unitedphonelosers.zzn.com|
`-------------------------------------------------------------------------'
Ever wish you could make web pages that fuck people over when they
visit your site, or the site who's html coding you have access to? Well look
no further because here is a script that you can copy and paste that will
totally screw people over.
Disclamer
---------
I am in no way responsable for any of your actions. By reading this
you understand that you are answerable to yourself and because your under
thirty will go to hell.
Find a webpage or create a web page. In the head of the code paste this
Welcome To AOL
This opens infinate windows and the only way to flush it out is to
reboot your machine. That'll really piss anyone off. It can also crate a DoS
attack agianst a site knocking him/her offline. Now you know and knowing is
half the battle!
Machten Zu Die Volks!!!
-Jackel
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Get Your Ameritech Telephone Service Turned Back On for $1! |
| Written By NethawK Email: nethawk666@home.com |
`-------------------------------------------------------------------------'
Yep, that's right. $1. It's so easy it's not funny. Okay, so how do you
get to turning your service back on? Well, first make a payment
arrangement for whatever, doesn't really matter. Next, go over to your
local currency exchange and pay 70 cents, plus the 30 cents for their lousy
service charge. Now, get your receipt(keep it handy) and give good ol'
Ameritech a call. Give them the receipt number and that should be
it. Might have problems with them when they realize you didn't really pay
them anything, but you can probably SE them into believing that you really
paid more.
How does this work, exactly? Well, from asking my family at the Ameridick,
when you call up the billing people, they pull up the receipt number. What
it shows them is how you paid. What it DOESN'T show them is _how much_ you
paid. Nifty, huh?
Disclaimer: NethawK assumes no responsibility for using this
information. If you get busted, go to jail, become someone's bitch for
doing this, it's your own damn fault.
-NethawK
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Free Groceries and Scamming Gumball Machines |
| Written By The 3rd Worm Email: the3rdworm@hotmail.com |
`-------------------------------------------------------------------------'
First of all, I'd like all readers to know that I wrote this article
especially with UPL in mind. As everyone certainly knows, UPL is the #1
underground phreak magazine specializing in helping phreaks with getting
free items from grocery stores and free gaming favors from machines at
arcade places. Also, of course, variations of above and then some.
Anyway, my article is a two - in - one. I am going to teach you how to get
some free products from a grocery store, like a bunch of yogurt or toilet
paper, and how to rip off gumball machines. I'm sure that the method for the
latter has been already thought of and done, but I have not seen it in UPL
yet and therefore I am going to submit it to UPL.
During busy days, grocery stores sometimes have accidents where they give
bags to wrong customers. This is an odd occurence, but it does happen,
especially in places where they have two cashiers sharing the same workspace
and the products tend to get mixed up a little. The customer can then return
for the unincluded items, perhaps a refund. I'm not sure about the refund
though, but you can try if you make a solid story.
So, you may ask, what ingenious plan have you thought of, 3rd Worm, that
will allow me (the reader) to make it look like my items got lost while in
actuality they never did?
That is a very good question, and I have a very good answer for it. Two
words: receipt. (On my planet, that's two words.) You can obtain a receipt
just about anywhere around the store. Most likely source, I'd say, would be
a garbage can. Stick your arms in one and get a handfull of these awesome
pieces of paper. Most receipts are supposed to go in one of the customer's
bags, but, you know, humans are stupid and always screw up. That is pretty
reliable too, so you can look around the floor and parking lot if you are
scared of trash cans.
Another way you can obtain a receipt is by going shopping with your
parents. Have them buy a lot of things, and convince them to buy something
for you (that you can later duplicate). Then simply get the receipt and save
it for the next day.
The next day (or a few hours later,) return to the store with a receipt and
look for an "important" store worker. Usually these are females with short
dark hair and yuppie pants that don't reach all the way down to their ugly
shoes and therefore show their ankles (which looks overwhelmingly dumb on
them), or males with hair brushed to one side (if young) or over their bald
spots (if not so young) wearing scary uniforms that make you wonder about
how easy it is for them to actually be giant insects in disguise. They
usually dress differently than normal clerks. Some can be identified by a
proud tag on their uniform that says something like "Gary Bob, Manager of
Grocery-Mart since 1724." Once you locate one of these wonderful royal
employees, state your problem. I will give you a few examples of how to
start:
"Excuse me, I bought groceries here yesterday, and when I got home I
noticed that a bag of groceries was missing. I have my receipt here with me
to prove it!"
"BAH! I BUY YOU MISS BAG! I MISSING BAG I BUY! I PAY AND I MISSING BAG!
HERE LOOK! THIS PAPER! THESE ITEMS I BUY WITH MONEY MISSING! I WORK ALL DAY
AND MISSING ITEMS! YOU GIVE! GIVE NOW I FAMILY TO FEED!" (Yes, this is
generally unsuspicious and acceptable. If you don't believe me, you have
obviously never been to a grocery store before.)
"Are you the manager? Are you sure? Wow! That's a really high-ranked job!
I'm still packing food packages at McDonalds myself. For 3 years now. But
rumor has it that I might get a promotion in a couple months. Anyway, I was
shopping here yesterday and buying food for my church party at Saturday, and
when I got home to unpack the groceries and cook the meals, I realized that
some of the items were missing. I think one of your employees put them into
the wrong bag and gave them to another customer by accident. They remind me
of myself when I was young. Such talent, such potential..."
I think that should give you a good start. After your introductory
performance, present the receipt and point at the items that weren't in your
bag. Retain common sense, and do not go overboard. You might be able to get
like 3 frozen rices and 6 yogurts or something. I recommend some Red Baron
pockets. They tend to taste good even if microwaved. Try the supreme and
pizza kinds. Actually, I think I've liked just about all of them. Suit your
own taste. (Also, you can obtain SODA.)
You can also go to www.jesus.com and read about how to find products that
are actually authentic and healthy and taste better than artificial melted
rubber. Go to the "Jesus Endorses Products" section, or whatever it is
called.
Now, the second part of this article - how to scam gumball machines. This
only came to my attention when my fiancee and her mom and I were at one of
them fancy "all for $1" stores, and on some shelf I found a few fake plastic
coins. On one side they say something like "not actual money" or similar. So
I took the fake quarter, and put it into a gumball machine and turned the
knob and got one of those icky slimy gooey things. This brought much joy
into my world.
The fake coin packages have like 4 quarters, 10 dimes, and some useless
pennies and fake paper cash. You -could- make your gumball machine buying
experience into a little "bargain" by purchasing these, but that would be
pretty silly, since you'd just get some extra 10 cent items, for which the
store actually paid like 1 cent for a package of 20. (Though it is not
difficult to take the fake quarters out of the package.)
So, we went home and I decided to find some cardboard and cut out shapes of
quarters. Sadly, the type of cardboard I picked was rather thin (something
like the cardboard you'd find Hot Pockets or Red Baron packets in.) This did
work, but only on 25 cent machines. Not 50 cent machines that require two
quarters to then either turn the knob or slide them in. It wasn't very
magnificent though, I had to put in like 5 of my fake quarters
simultaneously, and that on some machines allowed me to turn the knob TWICE
and therefore get 2 cheap items that are supposedly worth 50 cents when
combined. (It's actually 3 cents, so you'll still be getting ripped off
because the cardboard you waste is more expensive.)
What you actually need is some material strong enough to withold the
pressure that the gumball machines normally apply to a coin, and yet be easy
enough to cut without you having to strain yourself to the point where you
seem constipated. Basically, thin plastic or thick enough cardboard will do.
You can get such plastic from one-gallon milk or water containers, from
broken floppy disks, flat shampoo bottles, and various crap of such sort.
Hard covers of useless books can prodive you with strong cardboard, but
please, make sure that the book -is- useless before you destroy it. Like
"Guide to AOL, the Golden Hardcover Edition. 50,000,000 copies in print!"
Also, it is very important that you carve "http://the3rdworm.cjb.net" into
your coins, otherwise the machines won't take them.
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| Disclaimer |
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This is the same that goes for regular UPL issues. Nothing in here is
supposed to be taken seriously, and this whole thing is a complete joke,
not meant to be followed or advocated. UPL doesn't mean to influence anyone
in the wrong way, and we are sorry if we did.